Just Rambling

So I just came from a short trip up north with my mom. It was purely for her. I think she enjoyed herself...which was the goal. In my mind, how I felt about the trip had no bearing because it was all about her. At first it was really okay. Then the small things started to bother me...and then I'd tell myself to stop being mean. So I did. I was there for 2 days and I got homesick...WEIRD! I suppose it was a little of boredom + cabin fever that really made me want to head straight home.

She was the nicest though, and now that I'm recounting it, I feel bad about my thoughts when it was happening. My mom is such a great person, she is selfless, sensitive, giving and just plain perky...well, most of the time (and except with the driver who experiences her wrath on a daily basis). Other than that, she is the nicest really and I am ashamed of all my evil thoughts, so i will really try to behave now.

I met up with a college batchmate who's based up north. He treated me and my mom to lunch before we left for Manila. It was sooo nice to see him. His dad was in their resto too and I discocvered a really nice side to him...a kind hearted responsible son and brother, who is just as funny but now so mature. He sent nothing but good vibes to me and my mom. All the more I realized I needed to be a better daughter.

So I'm back in the office and the big boss is still here! He's really cramping my style man. But things are so bad I guess, that he really has to be here and make sure things get done.

I was 30 minutes early fo rwork today...I haven't been early, no or time in a loooong looong time. I worked out today and started drinking water. I haven't had a drop of Coke in 18 hours! (but that will end soon, as I just bought myself my office supply of Coke). I'm hoping to continue my good habits no matter how trivial.

I worked on household finances last night and realized I don't really have much to spare, just enough to stay afloat. So back to penny-pinching.I had my houseguest over again -- it was a short stop over and with no agenda. 30 minutes of eating, chatting with mother and discussing weightloss tips. I'm thinking now, if I have broken my promise to myself and slowly letting SSDD creep back into my life? Is this what's happening? I certainly hope not. I am still very aware of my limitations and still struggle to find myself and my place in this world. But I'm afraid to disappoint myself, and my cheerleader...please God, help me...

Its another week and its another opportunity to stalk my new victim...(5 seconds later)...i just did...i texted him! Its allowed now, since its been a week since we last communicated. If I get nothing out of this initiative...I'LL TRY AGAIN NEXT WEEK! WHAHAHAHA! never under-estimate the persistence of a bonafide stalker...that's me :)

PS -- he replied!!! There is hope! heeeheeeeheeeheeeheeee...And please allow me to put all the meaning and malice in the world! he called me dear agian...haaaaaaay. Yun lang.