I just want to get it over and done with

I just want to be happy now. I just want to deal with this. I OFFICIALLY want it to go away. I'm being irrational and unreasonable. I'm being so mean. But I want to be pursued. I want to be asked. I want to be begged. I just want to be asked. Then finally, I can say the God's honest truth...You are too much. You need not exaggerate. When you're sick, THE WORLD DOESN'T NECESSARILY REVOLVE AROUND YOU...you're just not feeling well. AND, you may not be the only one. You have to observe and get over yourself. If not, start taking care of yourself, because the stories are getting OLD.

You MUST not only care for me, but all my extensions...my mom, my dad, my siblings, my friends...they are all part of ME and the courtesy doesn't end with me. Why don't you get that?

Why?

Am I encouraging myself to feel this way? To continue to be irrationally pissed? Why am I sad? I feel really sad. I feel alone. I feel empty. He's not with me. I've been pushing him away. I need to sort things out. I keep waiting for the right time...then I forget and then all the pent up emotions pile up into one big ball of fury in the guise of hormonal imbalance. Possible. Am I making it an excuse for my unreasonable crankiness? Perhaps. Its not the first time I find myself wanting to change sooooo many things and I realize I NEVER EVER can. Ever. I can inspire it, but I can't change someone. They have to do it on their own.

You know what...fuck this, I just need to get laid.

Whatever

In fairness...may effort. Dalwang effort. Yun lang. When I'm in the mood...I'm really in the mood. When I want to pick on someone, I can do it to death.

I am still pissed for no reason. Sick daw. Eh di sick. Everyday naman sick eh, so what else is new right? I have a toothache...its major...my gums are swollen and I'm having a hard time eating and talking. I've had a cough for weeks. I have migraines every other day. I have high blood pressure, but am i being a difficult baby about it? No. Why? I can't. Because some other baby is sick...whatever it is, its worse than my condition. Fine. Nurse kung nurse. But hindi ako nag-nursing. Wala akong balak maging nurse for life, for sicknesses that are preventable. Pucha. Kailangan bang exagg lagi?

Ah basta, Bahala siya. At bahala ako sa buhay ko. I will take care of myself, since nobody but my aging mom and dad are interested in my health anyway. Di bale, ako nalang.

New happening? Meron din, even just the tiniest uneventful news..a new phone, a conversation with a friend, a movie with the girls, an endless exchange of emails among friends, well, those who care, at the very least...I'm trying to get my old life back...because someone elses's life is taking over mine. I always take the back seat. My siblings aren't as important as his. My mom is not important at all. I have to impose. And i really really impose...always an imposition. Because it never comes naturally. And I hate imposing...its just that I want to protect an image, not my own. Its all about him.

His aches & pains, his frustrations, his work, his play-time, his raket...He's too tired, too busy, too everything!!! Whatever! I am too everything too. Whatever.

I'm going to watch my movie and enjoy my phone tonight. Whatever.

Wetty-wet is dry..Dry...DRY

This blog’s been inactive for a looooong time. I’m really glad I don’t have the same issues as I did then. But I’d have to say…I don’t think my blogger name even suits me anymore. So many things have changed. It feels like I did a 180. Wettywet, is no longer wet. I am now officially loved, but under-sexed. I was getting way more sex when I was single than now that I am attached. I’m not even fucking married yet…plus no kids and already a drought…WHAT IS UP WITH THAAAAAAAT?????

I’m not complaining…well, actually, I am. I need it. I’ve said that I need it regularly. I’ve said it twice. Do I have to beg? What is this world coming to?

I used to be seduced...wanted...but now...I pretty much beg. And get nothing, still

Don't Wake Me Up...Ever

I just don’t feel like being alive these days. I just don’t want to be me. I don’t want to be anybody else either. I just don’t want to BE. I have no reason. I wish I could just sleep and never wake up. I don’t want to be alive. I just don’t care about anything or anyone. I DON’T CARE. It’s all about me and I just don’t give a shit.

I am spent. I am tired of waiting for the right time. Now is MY time. It’s all about me. And I have to care about how others will feel? I don’t give a flying fuck. I feel terrible. Just terrible. Don’t ask me why, because even I don’t know. See me ignore you. Watch me. I think I have it in me. Because at some point, it has got to be MY turn. That time is now.

I can go through the motions. The social obligations. With ease. I can put up a front. A good one. One would never be able to tell. But there is something wrong. Don’t ask me what it is, because I don’t know.

I hate clutter. I can’t stand it. Too many things attached to you, literally and figuratively. I say, simplify your life. What is up with all those thingamajigs that you don’t really need? Simplify. SIMPLIFY.

Too much baggage. Way too much. Let it go. You expend so much energy on unnecessary things that you leave NOTHING for me. NOTHING. I have to pick up the crumbs and put them all back on the bread. I end up running around the place, picking up all the teeny tiny pieces.

I'm sick of it. Why don't YOU pick up my crumbs...IF I wake up tomorrow. I hate my life. It sucks to be me.